2 years and 6 months ago I was given 2 years to live.
2 years ago almost to the day I came home from my last round of treatment.
2 weeks ago I had some discomfort and thought my uneducated hands felt a mass in my abdomen.
2 days ago I had bloodwork done and a CT scan.
This afternoon I visited with my doctor. And learned that even my uneducated hands can sometimes be right. The cancer is back.
What else is there to say right now? Nothing. Except to reassure you all that I am really at peace. I know what I want to do and that is to FIGHT. I will fight until there’s no reason to believe that I have a chance of winning. And then I will lose on my own terms and eagerly run to the feet of my Lord. But for now. For now there’s a calm before the storm, and I’m ready to face that storm head on.
A few years ago I went to a Gospel Coalition conference. As a whole the experience was phenomenal and I highly recommend it. One of the speakers said something there that stuck in my mind and I think of it often, particularly in times like this. My note from that days reads “the battle that matters has already been fought, all my other problems are fleabites in comparison and I need to learn to see them that way.” Praise the Lord! My cancer is a fleabite the grand scheme of creation. Not because I don’t matter, but because the part of me that matters has already been rescued! How can it get any better than that?