Pray for Erin

Home March 8, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — erin @ 12:47 pm

It’s the second day now since I came home on Tuesday. It’s not turning out exactly as I’d hoped. In a lot of ways it’s better. All the planning that went into trying to expect what it would be like when I got home, I’m doing better than I thought I would. But at the same time, based on the way I felt before I was discharged coming home has been a little disappointing. I wanted things to be normal. I wanted to be able to forget. But I can’t forget. Due to all the medications I’ve gotten (either over the last 3 weeks or over the last 6 months) food doesn’t taste the same, I don’t smell like myself, I have very little hair of any kind (eyebrows are officially gone), there’s a numbness/tingling in my fingers and feet, my mind isn’t as sharp as it once was, my body doesn’t have the strength or stamina it once did. Some, if not all of these things will go back to normal over time, but they make it impossible to pretend everything’s normal right now. But I should be, and for the most part am, happy with how things are going.

I will have a few follow-up appointments over the next few weeks. I go in tomorrow for blood tests and possible transfusions if my counts are low. At some point, hopefully in the next week or so, I’ll get one of my ports removed (I cannot wait to get this thing out, it’s a nuisance). From there it’s just a matter of getting better… and hoping the cancer doesn’t come back. I’m trying not to think about that too much. The treatments I’ve had give me the best possible shot of being over this, but the rate of recurrence for this cancer is too high to ignore. Time will tell I suppose, and I just need to figure out how to live in the meanwhile.


12 Responses to “Home”

  1. Erin,

    Thinking of you often. Praying often as well. I don’t know if you would like this, but I thought I would share a blog from a survivor of ovarian cancer that is living in Charlotte.

    Maybe when you are feeling more enthusiastic about the next chapter of your journey, you will find her writing helpful.

    All the best,

  2. Jane Shuke Says:

    You’re an inspiration. I thought of you as I read this recently:

    An intruder has been drip-fed into my body

    and ransacked the house of my mind.

    Everything of value, or beauty, or use
    has been stolen…..

    What the intruder didn’t think worth the taking
    I don’t want either.

    Shirley Vickers — From the book: Dear God, It’s Me and It’s Urgent- by Marion Stroud

  3. I think this edition might be a good place to start to read from:

  4. Linda Morgan Says:

    Continuing to pray…just take it one moment at a time 🙂

  5. Karen Martin Says:

    The worst is over Erin. Be patient if you can with the time it takes for your body to recover.

  6. Carol Stone Says:

    Your ordeal with the chemicals as been long and hard. I hope you will find strenghth from all of us who love and care for you. Take each day one at a time. Feel the power of the positive spirits that are sent to you from all of your family and friends.

    Spring is almost here. It is a time for newness. It will be your time too Erin!

    Rest easy~


  7. Mike Baker Says:

    We are still praying for you Erin.
    Your Cousin
    MIke Baker

  8. Rachel & Randy Says:

    Hang in there Erin! “Normal” is a hard place to find, especially after what you’ve been through, but you have a lot of people who love you and are praying for you…and hoping you get that “normal” back soon. Hope for the future is like a spring day at the end of a long, hard winter. This winter has been mild in NW PA, but yours has been harsh…so look forward to spring! May you find beauty and joy in each new day.

  9. Joan Q. McAfoos Says:

    Erin, We are so proud of you and your attitude. Knowing what you have gone through is so hard, but also knowing is the best hope for your future. We are continuing to pray for you and for your entire family. May you gain strength each day. Spring is almost here and I just know those blooming flowers will bring you sunshine in your life.

  10. Pat Larson Says:

    Erin, I can’t even imagine how tired and weak you must be now after that blast of chemo, but you are such a wonderful and strong woman, and i know that you will come through this better than ever. We pray for you every day and are so grateful that there is treatment for you. May God give you strength and peace and may you be surrounded by the love of your family and friends.

  11. Becky Smith Says:

    Erin, You live one day at a time sweetie,so glad this is over for you,I guess with any cancer patient the”C” word always looms over them, my daughter-in law had cancer at 18 was told she would NEVER have children,eight year later our dear sweet Christian was born and they both have been a blessing in our family. You are a blessing to all who know you,you are a strong-beautiful young women Erin, you will get over this and life will return to normal…Much Love,Becky

  12. Oh my gosh Erin! You are so strong and brave! and what a trooper to have hung in there for so long!! You are such an inspiration to me, and everyone else! I’m a gymnast, and black belt in tae-kwon-do and i recently tore my muscle tissue and along with it, my bone in a backhand spring. Its a 5 week recovery and then rehab (physical therapy), and lately I have been so selfish and depressed, thinking only that I cant do what i love, but i constantly remind myself how lucky i am, and how fortunate i am that nothing worse happened. Now i read your story and i cant believe myself, i have been so selfish thinking only of myself! and here you are with cancer and not a word of complaint!! Hang in there! I’ll be praying for you! Just think: the worse is over! what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger! (:

    Paloma (Lianna’s daughter)

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