Pray for Erin

End in Sight? January 26, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — erin @ 12:37 pm

I say that with a question mark because it only feels mostly true to say. I’ve completed all my rounds of regular chemo and am starting to feel like I’m recovering. I spoke with the nurse coordinator for my doctor at Barnes and they have me tentatively scheduled for an appointment and to be admitted to the hospital for the high-dose on Feb 15. That’s assuming I’m recovered enough that they feel comfortable moving forward (it’s amusing to me that they want me to be recovered so they can knock me down again).

As a quick note I should mention that while I’m in the hospital for the high-dose there will be some restrictions on what comes into my room to protect me from infection. One of those restrictions is on fresh cut flowers, so don’t bother sending flowers while I’m in the hospital.

Over the last few weeks I’ve struggled a bit with how to think about the high-dose. I’m not going to lie, it’s overwhelming. The experience of chemo so far has been rough. During the last few rounds I’ve barely had time to get recovered enough for them to move forward on schedule. The nausea and lack of appetite is no fun at all. The amounts of chemo they’ve been giving me so far are fairly aggressive as I understand it, and the high-dose will be similar medicines at 3-4 times what I’ve been getting so far!

I’m always hesitant to take medicine unless I feel it’s absolutely necessary, just the idea of the chemicals in my body has never been appealing. So to sit there hooked up to the IV with helpful/harmful chemicals literally pouring into my veins has never felt right. BUT, a friend of my mom’s stumbled across a verse early in my treatment that I just found out about that is so encouraging. Mark 16:18b “and when they drink deadly poison it will not hurt them at all.” These are among the last words spoken by Jesus on earth. I told a friend of mine about this verse and she suggested we print it out nice and big and hang it up where I can see it when they’re giving me the chemo. I say that’s not a bad idea at all.

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13 Responses to “End in Sight?”

  1. Linda Morgan Says:

    Yes, Erin the end of all this yucky treatment is in sight. I’m claiming that verse right along with you and your mom and fully believing! I think it’s an awesome idea to print that verse nice and big and keep it hanging up where you can see it. Continuing to keep you in my daily thoughts and prayers. Thanks for keeping us all updated.

  2. Joan Q. McAfoos Says:

    The end is in site Erin. We continue to pray for healing and strength. Thinking of you and sending you hugs!

  3. Val Says:

    Erin, All of my thoughts are with you. You are a testament to faith and courage. Love Val

  4. Pat Larson Says:

    Sounds like a great idea to me, Erin. There are so many of us who pray for you each day, and we trust that our good Lord will do what he said. You are never out of our hearts and minds. Be strong and courageous, but I know that you already are!

  5. Joy Says:

    Mark 16:17 And these signs shall accompany those who believe. I BELIEVE….

  6. tami Says:

    GO ERIN GO ERIN GO ERIN GO ERIN GO ERIN GO ERIN GO ERIN GO ERIN GO ERIN GO ERIN GO ERIN GO ERIN GO ERIN GO ERIN GO ERIN GO ERIN GO ERIN GO ERIN GO ERIN GO ERIN GO ERIN GO ERIN GO ERIN GO ERIN GO ERIN GO ERIN GO ERIN GO ERIN GO ERIN GO ERIN… you can do it! We’re all pulling for you!!!!

  7. holly Says:

    Dear Erin .. your message to us is a reflection of the incredible strength that has in fact gotten you to this point. You’re right .. the big dose .. this next step presents itself like a monster compared to your chemo and treatments to date. The good news is that they have worked and you are here with us to fight it and the use the protocal the docs are perscribing .. you are strong and brave and wonderful. You remind me of Katrina when she was diagnosed with her first of three cancers . . . she was at Dana Farber for a year every Sunday night .. in her words “So they can kill some of me – so the rest will live”. Well it worked and that was before there was a protocall – they were just “trying something they hoped would work”… it was 30 years ago.. and she lived 29 more years. She taught us all so much and was raising her son and being an amazing woman just like you are ..So we would say to each other “lets put that cancer in a bubble and send it off where it wont bother anyone ever again” … and indeed her cancer went away …

    Gentle hugs – giant hopes and lots of love to you as you look forward to Feb 15th .. it will be an anniversary to remember for the life its going to give you ..

    I’ll keep you in my prayers – holly* (And the furry friends in Vermont)

  8. Chelsea Says:

    I wish I could give you a hug right now! Keeping you close in thought and prayers! ❤

  9. Becky Smith Says:

    God Speed Erin…You are in my thoughts and prayers…

    Philippians 4:13

    I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

  10. Anna Says:

    Lets do this!!!

  11. john hepler Says:

    We’re still thinking of you and praying for you here.

  12. D McKeage Says:

    YOU CAN DO IT E!!!!!

  13. KIM RYAN Says:

    Erin God Bless you today as the day may be. Today”s troubles are really enough for today. Your new friend Kim frined of your Aunt Debbie


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