Pray for Erin

Very tired today November 16, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — erin @ 3:23 pm

Well, as mom said I went through round 3 of chemo last week so my regular chemo is half way done. I’m finding going through these rounds of chemo and the constant battle with nausea is such a mental game. It’s one thing to have nausea and another game altogether to know I will have to fight it and not psych myself into making it worse. It doesn’t help that I’m trying so hard not to lose weight (even to gain some if I can) and even this week when I’m not as nauseous I hardly have an appetite. Not long after I got out of the hospital and was having trouble eating a friend of mine suggested I set a daily calorie goal of 2000 and that is really hard to reach chemo week and the week after (week 3 when I’m feeling good it’s not so bad).

Mom and I will be going to the hospital for a number of tests tomorrow, mostly related to making sure I’ll be healthy enough to go through the high-dose chemotherapy. I’ll probably be quite tired tomorrow as my immune system will not be recovered until probably after the weekend. The tests include a cat scan of my abdomen that will help the doctors determine if the chemo is being effective. There’s really no blood test to show for sure if the cancer is sticking around or not, although it did cause high calcium levels in my bloodstream so monitoring that is the best indicator (and my levels have been on the low side of normal since my surgery). Another test will be blood tests, including my weekly blood counts and I’m not really sure what else. The last test will be a heart echo to see how strong my heart is. If you remember the picture of the red chemotherapy from one of my first blogs, that chemo can cause heart damage so they need to make sure my heart is still ok.

We’re planning on traveling next week to visit my aunt and uncle for Thanksgiving. Anna will be there too and it will be so great to see her again. We’ll probably leave Tuesday or Wednesday and I’m not sure when we’ll be back but we need to be here by Monday for my port placement for the bone marrow extraction which will happen after the next round of chemo. So much is happening! On one hand I’m glad there’s a lot to keep me busy but on the other hand it feels very overwhelming. I’m so tired of being sick, and I’m so tired of the unknown. As time goes on the doctors seem to be getting more and more positive. But they’ve told us from the beginning that this is an easier type of cancer to get into remission but it’s also more likely to reoccur. So what if we get it in remission? What does that really mean? To me that doesn’t mean I’m cured, it still means it could come back. But this is probably mostly my physical exhaustion talking. It’s easier to keep a positive attitude when I’m feeling better.

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13 Responses to “Very tired today”

  1. Joan Q. McAfoos Says:

    Dear Erin, Keep up the fight. It will pay off. We continue to pray for you and your family. Also, special prayers for your travels over Thanksgiving. May you feel strong enough to enjoy all of your family. Love, Joanie

  2. Erin,

    It’s so nice to hear from you! Hang in there, it sounds like there has been some good news from your docs. I hope that each passing day gets easier for you and that time flies. I admire you and am praying for your nausea to lessen among other things! 🙂

  3. Erin, I hope you got my voicemail from last week. Praying for you and the doctors treating you and for your mom as she cares for you. “Sometimes what God does in us while we are waiting is worth more than what we are waiting for” so don’t worry about remission or reoccurance, tomorrow has enough worries of its own.
    Amy

  4. Erin Says:

    Erin,

    I think about you often…
    especially at this moment, while I am in sitting in the hospital with my dad. He had heart surgery last week. Then some trouble with internal bleeding…so we are back in this place again.

    I think about how uncomfortable hospitals can be…and I am not even the patient!

    But, I also think about the miracles that happen in this place everyday. Not only fragile human bodies being put back together, but families that are being put back together, and hearts that get repaired, in this time when we are forced to stop our constant movement and turn off our distractions.

    God is with us here as I know he is with you there.
    and he is GOOD.
    I have this excited feeling that you will be tremendously blessed!

    Have a good thanksgiving, hug your sister for me, heck, hug everyone. Hugs are also GOOD.

    -Erin

  5. Russell Phillips Says:

    Erin, we think about and pray for you often. Keep up a good attitude, and keep writing these blogs- they will serve as a great reminder of God’s faithfulness once He’s taken you through the worst.
    Russell

  6. Linda Morgan Says:

    Hi Erin & Karen,

    Still praying for all of you, each and every day – actually, several times a day. The exhaustion is terrible and it does make it hard to stay upbeat and positive, but hang in there and don’t let the enemy put any doubts, fears or concerns in your mind. I’ve read some of the other comments and I have to agree with them – there are blessings in store as you go through this journey. I’m glad to hear positive reports coming from the doctors. I’ll continue praying for the medical professionals involved in your care and I’m praying and believing in faith that good news will come from all the tests you have coming up. It’s nice that you and your mom will gather with other family for Thanksgiving – praying for safe travels and an enjoyable time…just make sure that you get plenty of rest. Listen to your body – when it says it needs to rest, let it rest and don’t worry about what anyone else thinks…you are priority #1 during all this.

    You are so blessed to have such a wonderful mom! (I know Karen’s thinking, any mom would do what she’s doing…and she’s right – that’s what makes her such a wonderful mom!) Give her a big hug from me, okay? By you doing that, you get a bonus….a hug from her too!

    Thanks for taking the time to keep us all updated. See you at the mailbox again soon 😉

    Angel Linda

  7. Denise Pearson Says:

    Thanks for the update, Erin. Thinking of you and praying for you and your Mom and Anna. Your strong faith allows you to see the blessings in the midst of this ordeal but I sure wish you didn’t have to go through this. So grateful that your docs are pleased with your progress.
    Love,
    Denise and all the Pearsons

  8. Alice Says:

    Dear Erin and Karen:
    Thank you for keeping us informed. You are being so brave and I know that Jesus is your strength in this time of trouble. Sometimes we don’t know the reason why we go through things; but I know that God will use this very difficult time for His good. Have a good visit with your family. I am praying for you.
    Love Aunt Alice

  9. Pat Larson Says:

    Erin, I think that you are strong and courageous to even try to write when you have to be so tired. We love you and pray for you and it is nice to know specific ways to pray. Your faith is a shining star, and I know that God is holding you in His loving arms.
    Love, Pat Larson

  10. Rachel & Randy Says:

    Thinking of you Erin, and your mom and sister as they journey with you through this difficult time. I’m sure some days must be harder than others. Hang in there, you have a lot of people loving you, pulling for you, and praying for you!

  11. Kathy Joy Hoffner Says:

    With you wholeheartedly, Reinhild.
    Lord, give Erin the strength to go the distance with the chemo. Empower her, Holy Spirit, to have hope to believe Your plans and purpose for her will be fulfilled and she will serve You with good health and will proclaim Your healing power in her life. Give her a boost in her spirit Lord and help her body to be made whole.
    In Jesus Name, Amen!

  12. Lori Burton Says:

    Erin, I have sit here and read you posts hoping and praying that these treatments do everything they are meant to do for you and never having gone through anything remotely close to what you are going through, I am amazed at your faith, strength, courage and positive attitude you have. Please keep up the great work. I know you have the greatest support team on earth with you but never forget you also have the greatest support team above in heaven.

    God bless.

    Lori Baker Burton(cousin)

  13. Jen Huck Says:

    Hang in there Erin, I am praying for you, I wish there was more I could do for you.
    ,


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