According to the Small Cell Ovarian Cancer Foundation “Ovarian cancer affects 2% of all women; small cell accounts for 0.1% of this.” That was how likely it was for me to get this. I don’t know what the odds are for that stat, “1 in x” or how that compares to other rare events like getting struck by lightning (maybe someone else will feel like doing the thinking on that and let me know in the comments), but the bottom line is this is rare. As a result there have been few studies done, and little in the way of research or protocols that have been proven as reliable treatments. We’re basically flying by the seat of our pants here.
It’s so strange to think of my body working against itself like this. Aside from modern medicine I was on a collision course with death. Even with modern medicine… it’s just strange to think that something we take so for granted and something that is usually so good at healing itself turned on itself like that. It makes me realize how little control I have even over my own body. I may try to eat right, stay active, etc. But ultimately I can’t keep my body from turning on me. It’s good to know there’s one who IS in control and I just need to trust him. Trusting doesn’t mean my physical body will be healed, but it does mean He will do what’s best for me and ultimately I will be healed either way.
This has been a really good week for me though. I’m not so tired like I was last week. Although I’ve been hesitant to venture out much because of my white blood cell counts being so low last week. I have a doctor’s appointment later today that should tell me more along those lines. It’s amazing how much of a learning curve is involved in having the “best” chemo experience. Just yesterday I stopped taking one of my anti-nausea meds and the result has been so great. I was having side effects I didn’t even know were side effects. I’m so happy to be functioning at a more, well, functional capacity.
In other news, my hair started falling out a few days ago. I noticed it in the shower. When I went to shampoo it came off all over my hands. So, that day I went out and got it shaved. Not shaved bald, I’ve got about a quarter inch of stubble. This will be so much less messy to deal with and I must say, I make one sexy bald girl! 😉
Next week Anna is coming to stay with me and I can’t wait for her to get here. Although that does mean I’ll be starting another round of chemo a few days later. Round 2 starts next Tuesday, not sure how much I’ll be able to update. We’re hoping we learned a few lessons last time around and this time will go a little more smoothly.